Samantha Costanza went on a pretty average date last winter. She and her date drank hot cider at a bar in Brooklyn. When the bill arrived, her date gave the waiter her credit card.
Just a few days later, when he followed up to suggest a second date, something remarkable happened. Costanza was not interested in seeing each other again and she spent some time crafting a polite response to her lover.
do not miss
Your answer? A Venmo request for your half of the ciders.
“I was in complete shock,” he told CNBC. “It seemed like the only reason he would offer to pay for my drinks was because he expected something from me.”
Costanza isn’t the only single woman to encounter an awkward moment like this. A new dating trend has been emerging, with men sending women requests for money after they reject a second date. Some even express that they would like their appointment portion of the bill refunded since they did not get a return on their “investment.”
In its coverage, CNBC found that relationship experts and women were equally outraged by this trend; one dating coach even went so far as to call her “pathetic and unethical.” For her part, Costanza ignored Venmo’s request for her date and blocked him.
A psychotherapist cited by CNBC noted that this new trend could be due in part to the rising cost of living. A first date costs an average of $77 according to LendingTree, a high price to pay in a time of wage stagnation and inflation.
But maybe that’s to be expected: Changing economic realities create new rules around money and dating. Here’s what you need to know if you’re still playing the field.
First date talk involves money.
Your mother may have told you that talking about money is not appropriate at the table, but that is no longer the case. Today’s singles want to be more open with their dates, especially when it comes to money.
Dating app Bumble found that 28% of singles set “financial boundaries” in their love lives. A big part of this is openly discussing each other’s spending limits and financial expectations for the dates. This would be an appropriate time to discuss how to split the bill on a first date, rather than sending a surprise Venmo request afterwards.
Going Dutch has also become more common in dating. Bumble found that nearly half of men see value in breaking gender roles in dating. Splitting the bill with your date or having the woman cover the first bill is no longer bad form, but a matter of embracing an equitable future together.
Read more: Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now use $100 to cash in on prime real estate, without the headache of ownership. That is how
Financial compatibility is sexy
Singles not only want to talk about money, but they also want to make sure they are on the same page with their potential partner. Bread Financial respondents even admitted that they find it attractive when someone pays their bills on time or has a financial advisor.
Millennials and Generation Z also tend to talk about money more frequently with their partners than their baby boomer counterparts. This is partly due to experience: almost 1 in 5 young people blame “a lack of financial compatibility” for a previous breakup. And many (36%) of Gen Z consider making large impulsive purchases a red flag and potential deal-breaker.
With 22% of marriages ending in divorce due to money problems, singles now want to know the money personalities of their potential partners before getting engaged. And more and more couples are signing prenuptial agreements to protect their finances, even when they don’t have a large trust fund to protect.
Tell me about credit score
TikTokers have gone viral after revealing that they post their high credit scores on their dating profiles. One TikToker even received a marriage proposal (jokingly) after a guy saw her 804 credit score.
If you have a low or average credit score, you don’t need to tell your appointment. Instead, you can talk about how you’re working to improve your credit score and stay on top of all your monthly payments, like your student loan and credit cards.
As the Bread Financial survey found, many people find it attractive when a date has a responsible financial attitude. Being honest may not get you an instant marriage proposal, but it might be enough to get you a second date.
What to read next
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.